I Didn't Think It Bothered Me So Much

Each evening after dinner our group gets together to talk about the day. It is a sort of de-briefing, a sort of venting, and a sort of releasing. During tonight's session while someone else was talking it triggered a memory from the day and until that moment it was unclear that it bothered me as much as it did.

A couple of days ago during lunch a group of us met a young woman that lives over the wall from the church / school. Her name is Barbara, but pronounced differently and with a rolling "R". We chatted for a bit, shared family photos (it turns out Haitians are as interested in our lives as we are in theirs; that is a "no duh" moment that took me a while to get). And then we went about our day.

Today durning lunch I was walking back from the room in which we eat lunch to the work area and saw Barbara so I said hello and we started talking a bit. I was asking if she went to school (yes), how old she was (18), and what she wanted to be (a doctor). I told her the age of my children and just stayed chatting for a bit.

While we were talking one of the Haitian workers that has been with us this week walked by and gently stroked her chin while looking at her and then walked on. I didn't really think much of about it and simply thought it was two young people that knew each other and were sort of joking around. But after he left she had this strange look on her face and said that she did not know him.

I was shocked to say the least. I told her that I was not aware that they did not know each other and that he was incredibly wrong to do what he did. In fact, I told her that in several different ways. I apologized to her. I also assured her that if I had known I would have stopped him.

During this evening's session I sort of went off on a rant about this and about how the Pastor at the church, who is presumably mentoring these young men in some way, needs to embed (I think I used the word beat in the meeting) into them a sense of respect for all people and especially women. It is simply not right that even in Haiti a young man thinks it is OK or that he has a right to touch or stroke the chin of a young woman that (a) he does not know or (b) has not given him permission to do so.

It has been well documented that societies improve as the lives of women in that society improve. As their nutrition improves, so does the nutrition of the children. As the quality of their livelihood improves so does that of the children. And this ripples throughout the society. This can be greatly inhibited if women lack the respect of and are mistreated by the men of that society.

My plea tonight is to the male role models in Haiti. Treat the women in this country as the daughters of God they are. Treat them with respect. Honor them. Hold them before yourself. And instill this respect and honor in your sons, brothers, fathers, and friends.