Back in Haiti with Questions

I have been struggling to start my first posting from this year's trip to Haiti. There are a couple of reasons, I suppose, but I think the main reason revolves around the value to the children with my continued trips. I am not looking for sympathy or "you are doing good work" support messages, so please don't. I am not saying that I will stop my support of the work in Haiti nor am I saying I will stop supporting the mentor program. I am attempting to make a realistic evaluation if the monies spent on my trips could be better utilized in other ways. Are my annual trips the best use of God's provision for God's work in Haiti. 

I enjoy being in Haiti. I enjoy spending time with the kids, but I am acutely aware that it is local Haitians, like Pastor Ronel and Wilkens, who work with the children daily that affect the lives of the children most deeply. This is as it should be. The people that work daily with the children need our support, but it is less clear if they need our, my, presence on the ground. 

This has me wondering if it will be a while until I return to this island after this year. This island that was once the crown of the Caribbean and with God's grace can be again. 

One of the reasons I have returned to Haiti every year is because I have told the children I will be back before I leave. This may sound small, but these kids have a lot of one trip people in their lives and I have felt it is important to bring some constancy, particularly after the group with which I originally came decided to focus elsewhere. 

In the past couple of years I have seen this situation start to change as I have become more aware the General Baptist Association of Virginia (GBAV) have taken a more predominant role in the Source of Light Center and as the Now We Play group has started to come more frequently. So, I ask again, with these groups providing some constancy, what is the best use of the provisions God has given to aid these children?

As a concrete example, if I do not travel to Haiti the amount of money I would spend could be used to support additional hours for the mentors to work with the kids or even provide a bit of a raise for the mentors. Either of these options provide tangible benefits to both the children and the mentors. It is expensive to live in Port-au-Prince. 

This is all hard to think about and saddens my heart some, but in the end I must remember it is not about me, but about what is best for the kids and ultimately what is it that God wants. 

And so I wonder if part of the reason for this trip is to say goodbye to the kids.  Not forever, but perhaps for a little longer than usual. 

If anyone reading, assuming someone reads these things, has experience in short term mission work over multiple years, I would be grateful for any thoughts or words of wisdom. 

This afternoon I pray for the children as they get older that they mature into young men and women that will shape the future of Haiti. I pray for my wife and kids at home as they take on a burden and support me in my efforts in Haiti. I pray for the minor finger surgery my son will have this week while I am away. I pray for guidance and wisdom for my continued support of Haiti. Amen.