Joys, Evil, and an Unhealed Heart

When I sat down to write this post my intent was to only speak of the joys of today. That however is  not honest. The main joys were in the morning, even though there were joys in the midst of the evil to surface later in the day.

The day began as we loaded the truck and headed to the site where we were to hold the medical clinic. I jumped in the back of the pickup truck as opposed to getting into one of the SUVs because I find it much easier to be a part to the city riding there and feel separate from the city when in an SUV. Port-au-Price is a city full of movement and it is strangely comforting to be in the movement.

We arrived at the site and the school was still in session so we really could not set up the clinic as the children were finishing a exam. This meant we had a little bit of time to mingle with the neighborhood. I enjoy talking to the people in my broken Creole and they all seem very willing to help me get my pronunciation a little more correct as well as very patient with me. One of the doctors and I ended up purchasing some fried plaintans from a vendor and while I didn't end up getting any I hear they were good. 

While all this was going on some other members of our group were setting up activities and playing with the kids. They were playing with a parachute with what seemed to be 20 or 30 kids. There was pure joy there and it was a blessing to be able to stand there and simply observe the joy and love being shared. 

Once the medical clinic began it was much like many clinics. There was lots of activitity, triage people triage-ing, doctors doctoring, etc.  in these moments you can miss things as you hustle to make the clinic function and miss individuals. The individual today was fortunately not missed thanks to at least one individual on our team. She was 18, had some mental capacity issues, and just found out she was pregnant. The evil in our midst was that she was raped by someone in the village and was now pregnant because of that rape. And she almost slipped out the door. 

Praise God that one of our team noticed her face and called out for a translator to stop her before she left. From there we were able to connect her with the with wife of the main Pastor with which we work, as well as the local church pastor, and another of our team members who has worked in rape counciling centers. For the brief time she was in our arms she was showered with love, acceptance, prayer, and acknowledgement that regardless of her situation she is an valued and loved child of God. 

To be honest there was little we could do for her beyond what was done. While she did not attend the church where the clinic was held (the church doubles as a school on weekdays) the local Pastor agreed to try to help her and look in on her; but acknowledged that despite this that this was likely not the first nor the last that this girl would be abused because her mental capacity made her vulnerable.  I am not sure which is more evil, the fact that she was raped, the fact that there is almost a helpless acceptance that it will continue, or the fact that this is the second trip to Haiti that I have hard to rage against the men of Haiti and their treatment of women. THIS MUST STOP. The churches need to speak and teach of this and NOT accept it.  

While the events that brought this girl to us were evil, there was joy. She was and is loved. By the time she left us one of the main individuals from our group that was loving her said that she smiled. I suspect that smile won't last long and that there will be rough days, weeks, months, and years ahead. I pray that in those tough times she can look back on the love she received today and find strength through God's grace. 

While we were reviewing the day someone in the group mentioned that every time they come to Haiti their heart breaks again and again. For me, I don't think that is true. My heart doesn't break each time I come to Haiti. Instead I don't think my heart has healed since the first time I stepped off the bus 3 months after the earthquake into Haiti for the first time. The wound sometimes feels less painful, I may even forget about it for short periods of time, but being in Haiti quickly reopens the wound and the blood flows. 

I pray for the girl tonight, that she rest easy in the love received today and in God's grace. That girls all over the world that have and are experiencing these evils tonight feel God's love in the midst of the unspeakable pain and that despite what the world says, that they realize that they are valuable and loved not only by many on earth but an eternal father that may not seem to be there at times, but is looking at and holding them in love.  Amen.